A couple of blogs recently have rattled my cage. Now, I must be clear; this is not because they were wrong in any way. In one case a service was described where participants moved around with artists, and others(?) creating pictures - loads of creativity going on here to support worshippers - Great! In another blog someone shared his vision of an alternative, creative church where artists, activists and others were not constrained by structures. I was enthralled by what I read, such a loud amen came from my heart...
and yet...
What about people who aren't creative? It was David Sheppard in his book "Bias to the Poor" who made the point that God is not just a creator God but a maintainer God. And I just wonder sometimes if we don't over celebrate the talented and creative (as reflecting the nature of God) and overlook the maintainers of this world? The members of the crowd, the folk who follow? (I'll blog about what I think of leaders/followers in a couple of days time)
A while ago I was in a big London church. It was great, I so enjoyed the service. The worship was lead by one of those young women who have a slim enough figure to look good in a crop-top (am I allowed to be jealous?), there were loads of young, attractive, talented media-type people in the congregation. We sang a song "Beautiful on I love you, Beautiful one I adore" I really enjoyed singing, it's a great song, but...
I looked around at these beautiful people singing to a beautiful God and I caught myself wondering "where do us ugly ones fit in?" I went away and wrote a song, it's formal title is "St Mary's Plainsong", but I tend to call it the Ugly Song:
I see Jesus walk in the noon of a Judah day
covered head to foot in dust from the road.
Oh so sweaty from the heat of the morning sun;
Don’t look so beautiful to me.
I see Jesus hanging there on the cross for me,
face disfigured from the blood and the thorns.
Bruised and bleeding, writhing in agony:
Don’t look so beautiful to me
I see Jesus on his throne now He’s glorified;
Power, majesty and honour his own
Takes the form of a lamb who’s been crucified
Not sure that’s beautiful to see
And there’s
room in His heart for the ones who aren’t beautiful
room in His heart for the ones who are scarred
room in His heart for the ones who aren’t talented
room in His heart for me
If I'm honest, I'm not sure quite what I'm saying here. But bear with me. In England especially during the last half of the twentieth century a slowburning renewal was led by university educated (mostly Oxford and Cambridge types) people. There has been so much to be grateful for, but one of the consequences is that we have a terribly wordy religion (a bit offputting for non wordy people?). Our reasoning is powerful, if reasoning works for you. A further consequence is that the thriving churches in the UK (and I think this is the case in the US as well) are mainly situated in the middle class, educated suburbs. I guess that I'm just a little uncomfortable that what has worked for me; has rendered Jesus invisible behind words form many others.
And now, I'm beginning to wonder if the same thing isn't happening again. But this time with creativity rather than intellectuality. Are we going to raise the barrier of "I'm not that sort of person" against people who this world has taught to consider themselves as uncreative?
Hmmm, I suspect that the above is half-baked! Please feel free to help me think this through a bit more.
Doesn't seem particularly half baked to me. I was brought up Christian, but drifted away when I was told in my teens by my vicar that there could be no forgiveness for a friend of mine who committed suicide - there were other reasons too. And now I find during the occasional time I am in a church with friends, that it just doesn't quite speak to me. Going to ponder on whether there are elements of what you have said in my continued disenchantment.
Found you via two red boots btw, but had to struggle to get in, typepad seems to be a bit iffy today.
Posted by: jax | May 31, 2005 at 12:41 PM
Isn't life strange Jax? is it synchronicity? Maggi posted about 'losing ones faith' today over here
http://maggidawn.typepad.com/maggidawn/2005/05/losing_my_relig.html
For me, I've always felt that we don't tend to lose 'our' faith but someone else's.
Posted by: Caroline Ramsey | May 31, 2005 at 05:38 PM
Hi Caroline, thanks for commenting: putting two and two together I suspect that you were referring to my post at
http://nouslife.blogspot.com/2005/05/i-want-to-plantgrow-altchurch.html ?
Anyway I've made a reply and ivite you and any of your readers who are interested to take it further if you wish ...
Blessings,
Andii
Posted by: andii | May 31, 2005 at 08:05 PM
I love that song!
Posted by: graham | June 01, 2005 at 02:35 PM
I loved this. It hit all the right spots. The song was beautiful. Thank you for opening up your heart.
Posted by: Lorna | June 05, 2005 at 07:51 PM
Thank you for taking the time to reply to me - very thoughtful of you :)
Posted by: jax | June 06, 2005 at 12:13 PM
Hi,
I kind of see what you mean. Although I do feel that creatively the church is just reclaiming what is rightfully hers. I feel its been missed out and not been important and that's why we end up with samey services. I mean, we don't all not sing because someone has a beautiful voice do we?
And anyway, man looks on the outside, God looks at the heart :-)
Posted by: Ruth S | June 09, 2005 at 02:50 PM
I love your song!
And I have an observation about the thriving churches in your area, have you checked into urban, poor, pentecostal churches in the UK, US, and majority world?
They're growing by leaps and bounds and leading the growth of Christianity globally, I think even in the UK and US.
Not beautiful, but very very beautiful.
Thanks again for the song, sounds like it could be for the disenfranchised, marginalized, castigated as mad and ugly, pentecostals.
Peace.
Posted by: Paul Alexander | March 23, 2007 at 05:25 PM
Bear with me while I review some stuff in conversation with my own thinking! Whatr follws looks like a mini sermon but it connects to the fact that this week I have been demolished by a relative failure in my professional life. I have not been so down and discouraged for a long time. The source of all this was obtaining a merit in a test in which a lot of other people got a distinction. Since I only expected a pass how was it that my pride or whetever was so offended that I punished myself with so much ill feeling about myself?
There is a passage in one of Henri Nouwen's books.
It was written while he was on a long retreat of several months in a monastery.
He started well in this monastic community - or so he thought - and he felt he was making good connections with the monks who had allowed him to share their community.
Then someone went wrong for him. He saw someone else recive the 'special' welcome that he had received and suddenyl he realise he had been treated the same as any other newcomer - and this didn't give him the special feeling he was enjoying - he felt ordinary. He was very upset at this and partly perhaps because he was specially talented and had been widely celebrated for his work in the outside world he took a kind of a kind of offence.
His cousellor-monk or adviser suggested to him that in a monastery it is important not to have favourites. Praising one above another or paying an unequal amount of attention to one over another can cause seeds of jealousy to be sown or discouragement. The truth is we are all equally valuable in God's love. (All this was written up in Nowen's Gennesee Diary)
In the Eden moment we are all naked an innocent of self.
What is it that causes the problem? Maybe its the desire "to
be beyond" or "to know beyond" or "to do beyond" that humility and that innocence.
The Christ in the role of the 'second Adam' calls us back to to a way of being that is not centred on ourselves but in becoming like little children who are not privileged by the wisdom of this world.
For me a way of praying - that links in with other of your threads - is to practice the presence of God by starting with the apprciation that God loves me. Whether I am amazing or not it is centred in his love. Dwelling in and returning that loving appreciation enables a very different relation with the all the world ... My sense of well being is rooted in the kingdom moment of littleness and appreciating God's love and I can be free of comparison with others.
My recent experience is that I have beaten myself up because I was not as good as someone else and that is pride. Somehow I have to begin again and it is only after 48hrs of feeling foolishly depressed and self condemnatory that i am beginning to emerge.
Clearly my attitude to myself must affect or be reflected in the way I treat other people and I can only hoppe for God's grace to sort this out. To love and value someone else fairly and equally under God's love and grace and, although some friends will be closer and be part of ones calling somehow I want to have no favourites.
E&OE :-)
Posted by: Colin Darling | April 05, 2007 at 01:53 PM